in my station. thinkin of what to say. so much to say, but the delivery seems to be too difficult to attempt. this is the first successful entry among more than several attempts to create a new entry in this "light starved attic." words are important to me, and i hope to be meaningful in what i write. maybe, too much.
one of my issues of pride. almost like an onion, i have to learn to shed all the layers until i reach the core of my being, my identity. that identity is my true self. it is an inseparable mesh between my own soul and the Holy Spirit. it is all that God wishes for me and meant for me to be.
this has been quite difficult to pursue with so many things tugging and begging for my attention. what comes to my mind right now are relationships, my career, saving for the future, various church roles.
perspectives class. i'm the official "academic coordinator." titles. so very, very pointless. as tony campolo would shout, "children! are you living for titles...or testimonies?!?!" i go up each week to review over past stuff and answer any questions that people might have. i also grade homework quizzes. it's awesome. i love it. i hope i never do it again.
based on the parable of the talents, my church decided to do an experiment. give a group of volunteers $100 each and see what happens after 40 days. we're expecting some powerful testimonies. and...uhhh...i was one of the volunteers. i think God has given me a plan...a God sized plan...one that i cannot do on my own. i'll need much prayer...
i have been asked to consider leading my old small group, the one i left to join a different ministry. it's something i definitely do not want to do (probably for the wrong reasons), which means that God may be leading me towards it. we'll see. i'll be in prayer about it, and hopefully, be open to the possibility of returning.
recently, i have started getting these strange feelings. like hormonal changes or something. i have come to realize that i might be...a grown-up. could it be? me, a grown-up? i think part of the reason is cuz i've been enrolling and looking over health insurance, life insurance, retirement benefits, deferred comp., etc... geez, i hate finances. it makes me think of money. don't like it. feels dirty. i'm beginning to plan for a future..like homes and such. more things to control me and tie me down to this world. my wife definitely has to be knowledgeable in money management. hmmm..i know someone like that...
firefighting. recently, i saw my first dead body and fought my first structure fire. more importantly, God seems to be the hot topic around the station. we have some hardcore christians and hardcore atheists to match. i'm encouraged by both as i've been able to share my thoughts with both groups during various discussions concerning such topics as homosexuality, capital punishment, and truth. one firefighter in particular is currently listening to the bible on cd. he's not even a believer.
what is most difficult these days is going through all these things without my best friend. i miss her...
one of my issues of pride. almost like an onion, i have to learn to shed all the layers until i reach the core of my being, my identity. that identity is my true self. it is an inseparable mesh between my own soul and the Holy Spirit. it is all that God wishes for me and meant for me to be.
this has been quite difficult to pursue with so many things tugging and begging for my attention. what comes to my mind right now are relationships, my career, saving for the future, various church roles.
perspectives class. i'm the official "academic coordinator." titles. so very, very pointless. as tony campolo would shout, "children! are you living for titles...or testimonies?!?!" i go up each week to review over past stuff and answer any questions that people might have. i also grade homework quizzes. it's awesome. i love it. i hope i never do it again.
based on the parable of the talents, my church decided to do an experiment. give a group of volunteers $100 each and see what happens after 40 days. we're expecting some powerful testimonies. and...uhhh...i was one of the volunteers. i think God has given me a plan...a God sized plan...one that i cannot do on my own. i'll need much prayer...
i have been asked to consider leading my old small group, the one i left to join a different ministry. it's something i definitely do not want to do (probably for the wrong reasons), which means that God may be leading me towards it. we'll see. i'll be in prayer about it, and hopefully, be open to the possibility of returning.
recently, i have started getting these strange feelings. like hormonal changes or something. i have come to realize that i might be...a grown-up. could it be? me, a grown-up? i think part of the reason is cuz i've been enrolling and looking over health insurance, life insurance, retirement benefits, deferred comp., etc... geez, i hate finances. it makes me think of money. don't like it. feels dirty. i'm beginning to plan for a future..like homes and such. more things to control me and tie me down to this world. my wife definitely has to be knowledgeable in money management. hmmm..i know someone like that...
firefighting. recently, i saw my first dead body and fought my first structure fire. more importantly, God seems to be the hot topic around the station. we have some hardcore christians and hardcore atheists to match. i'm encouraged by both as i've been able to share my thoughts with both groups during various discussions concerning such topics as homosexuality, capital punishment, and truth. one firefighter in particular is currently listening to the bible on cd. he's not even a believer.
what is most difficult these days is going through all these things without my best friend. i miss her...
posted by danny at 12:15 AM
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